What a wonderful daughter I have. Her insights are amazing. As she said in her post, this book for me too must be read slowly. I want to take in every section and take it into my heart. I want to truly understand the concepts. I want my Spirit to feel the Spirit with which this book was written.
First, though, I think I need to tell you the reasoning behind choosing this book first. I gave this book to my best friend, Jilian Colwell, for Christmas this year. I have three best friends, Gary, Jilian and my daughter, Lizzie. Hence why we are reading this book and why I am doing this blog with Lizzie. Anyway, every year I end up getting a book for Jilian for Christmas. This year I had decided that I was going to do something different for her. I felt that I always get her a book and it seems so informal, so I was going to do something really grand. Well, I was looking at Seagull Book and Tape for Christmas presents for my Young Women Leaders and my Laurels when I spied this book. The cover and the title caught my eye; a picture of the Savior and "Defined by Christ." I had to pick it up to see what this was all about. Then I read the byline. It says, "Seeing Yourself Through the Eyes of the Savior." That sounded interesting, so I read the inside cover. This is what it says.
"So many of us stretch our faces with smiles side enought to mask the pain we hide. so many of us go through the motions -- attending church, giving service, nurturing our families, learning and doing -- while inside we feel empty, broken, doubtful, and even guilty for the way we feel. We tell ourselves that if we'd only work harder, we would somehow earn the blessings of peace, security, and unconditional love that we hunger for. But are we ever wrong! Simply by virtue of being a child of God, each of us is already loved beyond comprehension, without boundaries or conditions. Yet, sadly, many of us leave this heavenly gift unopened.
..... author Toni Sorenson illuminates the pathway toward opening the gift of divine love and finding everlasting peace even amidst the shadows and storms of life. As we come to focus on God's goodness rather than our own weakness, we recognize our own infinite worth, develop confidence in the plan of happiness, strengthen our ability to identify and overcome the lies of Satan, discover the power within us to find wholeness and help others heal, and experience for ourselves how good trumps evil. No matter what our disappointment or failure or loss may be, allowing ourselves to be defined by Christ will lift us out of darkness and into His light."
Those words spoke to my heart. Jilian has been going through some things in her life that have been difficult and I knew that this was the was she was feeling because we have talked about it. At first I did not pick up the book, but ended up going back and getting it. I knew the Lord wanted me to get it for her. My other thought was that I needed to get me a copy, but I ignored that thought.
Then things happened with Lizzie and I was down there in Las Vegas helping out when we went to Deseret Book. We actually went twice. The first time I saw the book again, but was not sure it was the right one so I asked Jilian. She told me the name again and said she loved the book. I felt like I needed to tell Lizzie about it, so we went back to Deseret Book. I picked up the book and told her that I wanted to get this book for me and maybe she would like a copy. She read what the book said and bought her own copy. As I was driving back to her house, we started talking about book clubs. We have always wanted to do one, but did not like the books chosen. That's when we decided on the Bored Book Club and decided to start with "Defined by Christ." What a great choice. I know the Lord was guiding us to start with this book. Knowing the ideas in this book about the love of God for all of us and how Infinite our worth is to him, will help us decide what other books to read. It will define our strategy on where to go from here. Well, thats how we decided all of this.
So now I want to tell you my thoughts on what I have read so far. I am almost at the end of the 3rd chapter or truth as Toni calls them. Knowing that I am of infinite worth and truly believing that have helped me to see my Heavenly Fathers and my Saviors love more clearly. As Lizzie said, the Atonement is the true way to see God's love for us. As I was reading the chapters on God's love and the Savior's love, this really hit me harder than usual. I started to think of God as my true father. I have always known that He is my father, but for some reason it I was really able to understand this as I was reading. I thought about my own children and thought about how I would feel if I had to give up one of my children, to watch them suffer beyond anything imaginable and then to watch them die, knowing that I would step in at any time, but knowing that I could not do that. The tears that I would shed would be enormous. I think that Heavenly Father did this as He watched His Son going through all that He did and then dying on the cross. He knows He could have stopped it, but He knew that if He did He would lose the rest of His children. What love He has for us to do this. To watch our Savior go through all He did.
I also realize more the love the Savior has for us. I am important enough to Him, as He is my older brother, that He would go through the Garden of Gethsemane, the trial and the crucifixion, so that I may become perfect. Wow!!! Why would he do this? He loves us, but really why? I think of my own older brother, who at one time wanted to take away my pain when I chose to marry early. He felt that it would end in my getting hurt, and he wanted to protect me. He didn't know what to do to help, but our Savior knew exactly what He had to do. I can't even imagine the strength it took to do this. I would do anything for my children and my family. At least, I think I would. Would I go through hell to protect and help those I love. Would I truly be willing to give my life for them. I think so. I hope so. I hope my love is this strong.
She talked about the way to feel of God and the Savior's love more are to come to know them. How do we come to know them. By doing the things they ask. By reading the scriptures, serving, attending our meetings, but especially by prayer. My idea of prayer is different than some. I feel like I need to speak out loud and speak like I am talking with my Father, which He is. I feel like I should be respectful but tell Him everything. Discuss everything with Him that is going on in my life. He already knows, but wants to hear from me. I know when I do not take the time to speak with Him, my life does not go as well or I do not feel the peace as much. I want to feel peace.
When we moved to Layton, I made a decision to read my scriptures more and stop reading what I call fluff books. (I know many people may disagree with this, but this is what I felt I needed to do.) I had many books that I was reading that did not edify me. They were not bringing me closer to the Savior. So I decided to read the books in our own library first. We have mostly gospel centered books, but some classics and some history books. I also started to read my scriptures while I was exercising in the morning. As I began to do this, I started to feel more peace in my life. I began to be a better person and to actually feel my Heavenly Father and my Savior's love. Things that used to bother me in the past, became easier to handle. My life became filled with peace. I think this is what Toni Sorenson meant when she said that we had to come to know our Heavenly Father and our Savior. As I read about them in the scriptures and in the books, I began to understand more. I know that I will never understand completely, especially the Atonement, but I don't think that is required. I think that as we draw closer to our Savior in getting to know Him, we draw closer to our Heavenly Father and get to know Him.
I am glad we started this book club so we can get to know the Savior and our Heavenly Father better and to be able to feel peace in our lives. I hope more of our friends will take this challenge and join us in our book club.
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