Getting Back to the Basic Values

I just finished reading the book, "Winners Never Cheat," by Jon M. Huntsman. It is about everyday values that we learned as children, but may have forgotten. This book was written for business and business owners, but he says it applies to all relationships and ventures.

Mr. Huntsman started with nothing and has made himself and his company very properous by following the values he has learned. He is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and truly lives what he preaches.

The following are the values we need to remember:
1. Lessons from the Sandbox. Everything we need for today's marketplace we learned as kids.
We learned all the values we need to live when we were kids, we just sometimes forget them.

2. Check your moral compass. We know darn well what is right and wrong.

We all know when we are doing something right or wrong. It is something we are born with. We need to remember and use this conscious when we make decisions.

3. Play by the rules. Compete fiercely and fairly -- but no cutting in line.
I remember playing as a kid. We included everyone and we didn't dare try to play unfairly. We lived by the rule "It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game." So true.

4. Setting the example. Risk, responsibility, reliability -- the three Rs of leadership.
If we want our children or others to follow these values, we must follow them. I always tried to let my children see me live the gospel, so they would want to live the gospel because they saw how happy it made me.

5. Keep your word.
We must do what we say we are going to do. There was a time when just a handshake meant a binding contract. Make it that way today. Make your word your bond.

6. Pick Advisors Well. Surround yourself with associates who have the courage to say no.
It is always easier to be better when those arround you have the same values as you do. Surround yourself with people who make you want to be better and pull you up not down.

7. Get Mad, Not Even. Revenge is unhealthy and unproductive. Learn to move on.
This one can be hard, but it is never good to dwell so much on what can't be changed or on what someone else has done to you. You become bitter and angry. It occupies your world. You tend to lose everything that is worthwhile while you are trying to bring someone else to your level.

8. Graciousness is next to Godliness. Treat competitors, colleagues, employees and customers with respect.
Use the golden rule. Treat others like you would want to be treated. If you are kind and respectful to others they will be the same the to you. If you are mean, it will come back to bite you in the butt.

9. Your name is on the door. Operate businesses and organizations as if they're family owned.
Treat your employees and those around you like they are family. Would you do certain things to people if they were part of your family.

10. The obligation to give back. Nobody is self-made; return the favors and good fortune.
Donate your time and your money to others. Give to those who don't have as much as you. We are given all that we have from the Lord. He gives us the ability to work and to earn money. Keep what you need and then give of the rest. I know this to be true. I just need to be better at doing it with a willing heart.

Mr. Huntsman states at the end of the book that acceptable moral values are child's play, not rocket science. He is right. We have learned these values and they should be easier to do than we make them. If we are struggling, we should look at where our priorities lie. Are they where they should be and are we living the values they way we know we should?

Exercise

My Mom came up with the idea to do one of the exercises from "I Hate It When Exercise Is The Answer" each week. Rather than go in order I thought I would pick one that stood out the most to me to work on. I picked...

I thought I would do a little each day this week in this exercise. It tells you to list what you are good at, and look at your patriarchal blessing to see other gifts that you have been given. 

So this is what I am going to do this week while I am on Spring Break.  

I Hate it When Exercise is the Answer

Lizzie and I started reading this book recently. Lizzie found it at Deseret Book. It is by Emily Watts. It starts out with her talking about her body changed when she turned 50. She went to the doctor and he told her that her problems would be helped if she exercised. She didn't like this of course, but it made her think of how she could make herself better by getting some spiritual exercise. She gives us 31 spiritual exercises to do. Lizzie and I have decided that we would work on one exercise a week. I thought this would be a good idea and help us to improve our spirituality and our lives. Lizzie agreed because she has been trying to come up with some goals to keep her busy. The author tells some stories about each exercise and then gives you a task to complete.

I decided to start with Exercise #13: Making Lasting Changes. Choose one small thing to change about your life. Don't pick a full-on diet, for example, but maybe just one eating habit you could alter. We're starting small on purpose so we can feel some success. Pray and ask for the Spirit to help you make the change. Write down all the reasons why you should make it, and why you can. Decide what motivators would help you stick to it. And then take a deep breath and do it.

My small thing that I am going to change this week is to wake up happy and glad to be alive and with Gary. I am not a morning person and I usually wake up kind of grumpy and I do not treat Gary very well in the morning. I want to be better at this, so that he feels of my love. I have started to pray for the Spirit to help me. The reasons why I should do this are that I want to have a better marriage; I want to feel better in the morning; if I feel happy earlier, I will accomplish more; I am more pleasant throughout the day if I start off happy. I can do this because I have the Lord's help. I can do this because I can overcome weakness. I can do this because I love Gary more than I love myself.

Pick up this book, "I Hate it When Exercise is the Answer" by Emily Watts and start your spiritual exercises with Lizzie and I today.

Standing for Something: Rest of the Chapters

I finished reading Standing for Something last night. The other chapters were about Civility, Learning, Forgiveness and Mercy, Thrift and Industry, Gratitude, Optimism and Faith. These are all important.

As I was reading the chapter about civility, I was thinking about how so true it is that we have lost a lot of the civility in this world. I think of times when I have been at work or at the store and listened to people belittle or criticize others. There is so much incivility in our movies and television shows. Humor is about how much we can make fun of someone or out someone down. There are so many times when I just turn off the tv or movie I am watching because I get so tired of listening or watching people treat each other with disregard. We need to get back to the time when your word was your bond and you never would say anything bad about someone. It's like that old saying, "If you can say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

I loved the chapter on learning. I love to learn. I have always loved school. I did well, but did not go to college right out of high school. I was still learning through life and through books. I love to read and read many different types of books. I am reading more books that are up lifting now, but still read all types. My favorite book besides the scriptures is "Wuthering Heights." Most people think this book is bad and hard to read, but I love it. I also like anything Jane Austin. I went and got my Associates Degree when I was 38 years old. I got my Bachelors Degree when I was 43. Better late than never. I am still thinking about my Masters, too. I think everyone should strive to get an education. We should also be learning everyday of our lives. We should learn something new everyday. I love it when something clicks in my head and I realize I just learned something new.

Forgiveness and Mercy are the next chapter. I love to hear about a someone who has a terrible thing happen in their life that is caused by someone else and they forgive that person. What a great person they are. I know that if I do not forgive someone it festers in me and I am never quite right. Once I show mercy, let it go and forgive, I can get on with my life. I try to remember that I am not perfect and that I would like mercy shown to me. If I do not show mercy and forgiveness I will not be forgiven or have mercy. It reminds me of the scripture story about the man who owed a lot of money to someone. When the man was called before the other man, he begged for forgiveness. He had come on hard times and could not pay it back, but asked for mercy. The other man gave it to him. Then the forgiven man went to collect some money that was owed him for another man. The amount was so small compared to the amount the man had owed himself. The other man begged this man for forgiveness, but the man said no and sent him to prison to pay the debt. Why had the man begged for forgiveness, but not had not shown the mercy to the man who owed him money. How sad for any of us if we cannot come to show mercy and forgiveness.

This book was written before the recent economic crisis came about. However, what President Hinckley said is true. We must be frugal and thrifty. We must get out of debt as soon as we can. Gary and I have been trying to do this. We have been trying to live within our means. We pay our tithing first and then our other bills. We also are putting money away. I have known times when I did not have enough money to pay tithing first. I learned though that I must pay my tithing first and all will be added. We are not rich, but we have what we need to help others and ourselves. I have tried to teach my children this same concept. My girls are great examples of how to watch what you spend. They both are very careful in what they spend. If we would all be careful in what we spend and really think of what our needs are instead of our wants, we could help the country get out of our slump. I know some who want to keep up with their neighbors, but what does that bring us. We have more happiness and peace if we live within our means. Try it, it works.

The first thing we should do when say our prayers is to thank our Heavenly Father for all that we have. I am blessed to have so much. I have the most wonderful husband. He loves me and takes care of me. I love to spend time with him. I have three wonderful children, Doug, Lizzie and Sara. Doug is becoming a strong young man. He is learning to take care of himself and to make great decisions. Lizzie is one of my best friends. We talk all the time and I love this. I love to spend time with her and Luke. Sara is becoming a great friend of mine. She is becoming a promising young woman. I love to have her cook for us and to go shopping and talk. I am grateful for my home. It is truly a home for me. I am grateful for my job and for Gary's job. We are blessed to love our work. I am grateful for my calling as the Young Women president. I am so grateful to be able to help these young women to learn to love themselves and the Lord. As you can see I have so much to be grateful for. Make a list of the things you are grateful for. How can you be unhappy when you realize all that you do have?

We must have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the rock our testimony should be built on. Our faith in him will enable us to return to our Heavenly Father's presence. He gave His life for us and atoned for our sins. Without Him we are nothing. Faith in Him is the only solid, sure thing in this world. If we have faith in Him, all will be well. No matter what happens in our life. If we have faith in Him, we will realize how we should treat others and do that.

I loved this book and I recommend that everyone read it. It will give you ideas in how to live your life and how to help make your homes, communities and countries better.

Standing for Something: Chapters 1-3

As part of my Integrity Value Project for Personal Progress, I decided to choose two books about Integrity to read and then blog about. Lizzie came up with this idea and I loved it, so I went to Deseret Book.com and typed in the word integrity. There were many books to choose from, but the two I chose were "Standing for Something" by President Gordon B. Hinckley and "Winners Never Cheat" by Jon M Huntsman. We have a copy of "Standing for Something" in our home library, so I decided to start with it. I put the other book on hold and have to pick it up at the library tomorrow night.

President Hinckley says that there are 10 neglected virtues that will heal our hearts and our homes. That is what "Standing for Something" is about. It is about having the integrity to stand for these virtues which will make each of us a better person, which will make our homes better, our neighborhoods better, our countries better and our world better. I have finished the first 3 chapters.

Chapter one is about love. If we all had love for one another, there would be no ills in the world. The first two commandments are "Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart..." and the second is "love thy neighbor as thyself." The Lord tells us to love one another. Paul states that "Though I speak with the tongue of angels and have not charity, I am become as a sounding brass, or a tinkling symbol." (1 Corinthians 1-2) I think that love is the most important thing we can have in our lives. When I have not had love or let love in my life, my life has been depressing. Love has lifted me up and helped me through many trials. Not only the love that my Father in Heaven and my Savior have for me, but the love of my family and friends. I am blessed to have so many who love me and I feel blessed to be able to love so many. President Hinckley said, "Love is the only force that can erase differences between people or bridge the chasms of bitterness." If we love instead of hate or envy, we will not feel unworthy or feel others are better. We will feel as great as anyone. We will feel kindness towards one another and not want ill to come to anyone. What a wonderful world it would be if we all had true love for one another.

The second chapter was about honesty. How much better off would our world be if we all were truly honest in all our dealings with our fellow men. President Hinckley said, "Without honesty, our lives disintegrate into ugliness, chaos, and a lack of any kind of security and confidence." He talked about the many types of dishonesty and how many different types there are. He said that 5 of the 10 commandments deal with dishonesty. "Thou shalt not kill" (Exodus 20:13), "Thou shalt not steal" (Exodus 10:15), "Thou shalt not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14), "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor" (Exodus 20:16) and "Thou shalt not covet" (Exodus 20:17). That is a lot of commandments that deal with honesty and integrity. Do we do any of these things? They seem like such big things. We would probably never kill someone, steal something or commit adultery, but do we wish we had things that others have and do so in a way that we forget what we do have. Are we grateful for what we have or are we always wishing we had what the person next to us has. Do we wish we looked like the fashion models and become obsessed with making those kinds of changes while neglecting our spiritual selves. We are coveting. Do we gossip about others, listen to false stories about others or even make up those stories. If so, we are bearing false witness. Are we honest to ourselves and to the Lord especially when no one else is looking? I try to be and when I am not I get on my knees and pray my Heavenly Father will forgive me and help me to be more honest. I want to be able to hold my head up now and when I am in the presence of my Savior and be able to say I was honest.

The 3rd chapter is about morality. How far this world has gone in its attempts to allow more freedom. Things that are sacred and special to many of us have become socially acceptable and almost demanded by others. They treat their bodies and the bodies of those around them as toys and as objects and not as temples. How sad to see the state of affairs in this world. How unfree we have become. President Hinckley talks about how Hollywood has decided that we want to see this gratuitous sexuality in everything we see, read or hear. They do not understand that there are many of us that don't want to see this. It is not only Hollywood, but much of the world. Satan had gotten them to believe it is okay. There has come this week a striking example. One BYU student was found to have broken the honor code. He knew it and he admitted it. The school had no other choice but to suspend him from the sport he plays. It was a sad day for him I am sure. He knew what he had to do and what the consequences would be. He was a strong young man to be able to do this and to start the repentance process. Many in the world, however, have ridiculed the school for being behind the times. They have said that the policy is not realistic. President Hinckley said much of the same in this book. He said that the world will tell us that we are old-fashioned and out of date. How can being morally clean be out of date? When immorality is chosen, the few of the true meaning of love is distorted. A person becomes unfeeling and unloving. Desires become the sole basis of living. That makes this world a sad place to be because everyone is out for their own pleasures and not out to serve, help of love others.

So far this book has been wonderful. It has helped me to see how steady and unwavering I need to be as the world continues to decline in it's integrity. Standing up for these virtues can help each of us be better and therefore make the world a better place.